1
00:00:37,476 --> 00:00:39,610
All units, please respond
to a possible intruder
2
00:00:39,644 --> 00:00:41,112
in the research department.
3
00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:54,773
This product is the result
4
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,293
of years of research
and development.
5
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:58,889
Everyone at the company
6
00:00:58,914 --> 00:01:02,296
is convinced the stock price
is going to soar.
7
00:01:07,842 --> 00:01:08,774
A toy?
8
00:01:08,804 --> 00:01:10,024
Chubby Snubby.
9
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,634
I was the exec
overseeing its safety report,
10
00:01:12,659 --> 00:01:16,136
which came back with a level
three choking hazard rating.
11
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:19,431
But I refused to cook the books,
so Hazlit fired me.
12
00:01:19,462 --> 00:01:20,430
Hazlit?
13
00:01:20,504 --> 00:01:22,609
Trent Hazlit,
C.E.O. of Poggio Toys.
14
00:01:22,856 --> 00:01:25,263
And he's not worried
about lawsuits?
15
00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:28,029
Hazlit does cost-benefits
for everything.
16
00:01:28,063 --> 00:01:30,299
And the deaths of a few kids
is an acceptable risk
17
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:31,526
in the name of profit.
18
00:01:31,627 --> 00:01:33,143
Well, he is awfully cute.
19
00:01:33,305 --> 00:01:35,424
Not so cute
when a kid swallows its nose
20
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,981
and it swells up
to the size of a pomegranate.
21
00:01:38,109 --> 00:01:40,108
Hazlit buried
the Chubby Snubby report
22
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,636
so he could launch
before Christmas.
23
00:01:41,905 --> 00:01:43,581
All the toys
are at retail warehouses
24
00:01:43,628 --> 00:01:46,756
waiting for the announcement
at the Pacific Toy Expo.
25
00:01:47,219 --> 00:01:48,615
We're looking at
a ticking bomb.
26
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:52,645
Don't let this thing hit
the market, Mr. Ford... please.
27
00:01:56,937 --> 00:02:01,707
Trent Hazlit... C.E.O.
of global toy giant Poggio Toys.
28
00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:04,757
And the days of the colorful
family toy exec are long gone.
29
00:02:04,796 --> 00:02:07,287
Nowadays, companies bring in
these Wall Street Wolverines
30
00:02:07,318 --> 00:02:09,675
who couldn't care less
about kids or toys.
31
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,679
All they care about
is branding and stock growth.
32
00:02:11,748 --> 00:02:13,197
Well, where'd Hazlit come from?
33
00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:14,835
- One guess.
- Santa's workshop.
34
00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:16,324
- No.
- Doughnuts.
35
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,376
No. And that's two guesses.
Stop playing.
36
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,988
He comes from
defense contracting.
37
00:02:21,032 --> 00:02:24,165
20 years ago, he was selling
RPGs and anti-aircraft weaponry
38
00:02:24,196 --> 00:02:25,681
to both
Latin-American dictators
39
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,315
and the rebel groups
that opposed them.
40
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,917
- I hate arms dealers.
- Yeah.
41
00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:31,870
Now, nine years ago,
he takes over Poggio Toys,
42
00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,912
moves the manufacturing
overseas,
43
00:02:33,947 --> 00:02:35,160
he lowered safety standards,
44
00:02:35,191 --> 00:02:37,192
and he buried
class-action suits.
45
00:02:37,308 --> 00:02:38,858
Okay, uh, what's security like?
46
00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:40,107
He's using the same M.O.
47
00:02:40,138 --> 00:02:41,194
as he did when he sold weapons.
48
00:02:41,219 --> 00:02:42,589
He's using
double-walled rooms.
49
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,825
He's locking away toy designs
at the end of every shift.
50
00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:46,342
He's changing codes daily.
51
00:02:46,369 --> 00:02:47,850
Uh, safety report?
52
00:02:47,932 --> 00:02:48,813
It's digital.
53
00:02:48,838 --> 00:02:50,105
It's kept in a special server,
54
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,599
which is locked
in a special safe,
55
00:02:51,636 --> 00:02:53,205
which is held
in a special server room.
56
00:02:53,242 --> 00:02:53,880
Parker?
57
00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:55,623
Ah, a Boylan-Kim 53-11.
58
00:02:55,654 --> 00:02:57,681
Just have to drill it...
No problem.
59
00:02:57,746 --> 00:03:00,084
Okay. So, we'll steal
the safety report,
60
00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:01,228
release it to the public,
61
00:03:01,253 --> 00:03:03,116
then Hazlit
is gonna have to spike
62
00:03:03,157 --> 00:03:05,142
the Chubby Snubby dog launch.
63
00:03:06,361 --> 00:03:07,780
Let's do it.
64
00:03:19,797 --> 00:03:21,472
I-I'm saying that we...
65
00:03:21,521 --> 00:03:23,758
Uh, I think we went overboard
on Christmas gifts last year.
66
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:27,272
Nate,
I love my Ecosse motorcycle
67
00:03:27,302 --> 00:03:30,678
from last Christmas...
Compliments of my Santa-baby.
68
00:03:33,026 --> 00:03:36,261
You spent $100,000
on a motorcycle?
69
00:03:36,814 --> 00:03:38,104
Don't hate the gift.
70
00:03:38,128 --> 00:03:39,429
Hate the elf.
71
00:03:39,496 --> 00:03:41,165
I do hate the elf.
72
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,111
So, are you saying
73
00:03:44,147 --> 00:03:46,081
No Christmas presents at all?
74
00:03:46,148 --> 00:03:47,404
Not even something small?
75
00:03:47,781 --> 00:03:48,782
No gifts.
76
00:03:48,838 --> 00:03:50,202
But
77
00:03:50,422 --> 00:03:53,323
How are we supposed to do
Christmas without any presents?
78
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,300
Let's just
put a limit on spending.
79
00:03:55,342 --> 00:03:57,316
Say...$1,000 a...
80
00:03:59,512 --> 00:04:02,247
$100 a...
81
00:04:02,695 --> 00:04:05,163
- 50 bucks a person.
- Mm.
82
00:04:05,888 --> 00:04:08,356
Fine, whatever.
83
00:04:18,407 --> 00:04:20,239
I'm in.
84
00:04:38,436 --> 00:04:40,737
Okay.
Downloading now.
85
00:04:42,097 --> 00:04:43,685
And... I got it.
86
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:47,179
Three minutes to seal up, and
he'll never know we were here.
87
00:04:55,089 --> 00:04:57,212
Yeah, he doctored the data.
88
00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,546
And the American Safety
Association of Pediatricians
89
00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:01,026
is giving it five stars!
90
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:01,957
Yeah, I thought that was weird.
91
00:05:01,988 --> 00:05:03,330
Yeah, they're a bunch
of retired doctors
92
00:05:03,349 --> 00:05:05,615
based out of Guam with
no standing in the business.
93
00:05:05,649 --> 00:05:07,166
I'm sure they're
on Hazlit's payroll.
94
00:05:07,191 --> 00:05:08,759
Shouldn't somebody
be regulating this stuff?
95
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:10,709
Want to know who regulates
toy safety in this country?
96
00:05:10,729 --> 00:05:12,039
The toy companies.
97
00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:14,023
What about government?
98
00:05:15,693 --> 00:05:17,242
Consumer Product
Safety Commission.
99
00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:18,105
They try.
100
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:19,728
They're a solid
government agency,
101
00:05:19,747 --> 00:05:21,717
but safety studies
are voluntary,
102
00:05:21,746 --> 00:05:24,148
so certain companies
just won't take that risk
103
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,786
because if a toy
is found hazardous,
104
00:05:25,805 --> 00:05:27,049
they have to make it public.
105
00:05:27,092 --> 00:05:29,278
Yeah, unless you buy
some doctors in Guam.
106
00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:31,342
I appreciate you trying.
107
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,098
Wait, wait, wait.
108
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,520
Mr. Marris, listen...
This isn't over.
109
00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:35,655
It isn't.
110
00:05:35,686 --> 00:05:38,592
Now, we are not gonna
let that toy get released.
111
00:05:38,654 --> 00:05:40,956
I don't think you know
who you're up against.
112
00:05:40,996 --> 00:05:43,931
Trent Hazlit
is a corporate hitman...
113
00:05:44,216 --> 00:05:46,151
He's capable of anything.
114
00:05:50,094 --> 00:05:52,931
You realize that without that
safety study, we got nothing.
115
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:53,920
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
116
00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:55,208
So, why'd you promise him that?
117
00:05:55,242 --> 00:05:58,511
Because we are not gonna
let that toy get released.
118
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,840
We're gonna steal Christmas.
119
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:03,215
No, the Trojan Horse
won't work.
120
00:06:03,253 --> 00:06:04,970
We'd have to sell Hazlit
a toy company
121
00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:06,774
so filled
with financial liability
122
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:09,403
that it bankrupts him before
the launch of Chubby Snubby.
123
00:06:09,426 --> 00:06:11,663
Exactly. We just bait him
with a new hit toy.
124
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,293
But the launch
is in three days.
125
00:06:13,311 --> 00:06:15,167
We don't have time
to create a whole new toy.
126
00:06:15,191 --> 00:06:18,019
Ah, that's why Hardison
is finding us some failed toys
127
00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:19,235
that already exist.
128
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,382
Yeah,
this is second run of fun.
129
00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:22,780
It's a third-party
toy distributor
130
00:06:22,811 --> 00:06:25,448
that sells failed toys to
Bolivia and the Sudan in bulk.
131
00:06:25,577 --> 00:06:27,921
They also sell those
Super Bowl "loser" t-shirts.
132
00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:31,396
- Mm. - Now, check this out... they
got TSA security screener,
133
00:06:31,549 --> 00:06:35,749
Whirlie-Glee-Glee, homeless
mother and daughter doll set.
134
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,078
These are toys.
135
00:06:37,245 --> 00:06:39,404
And this is my favorite...
Sir Boat-A-Lot.
136
00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:41,418
You pull his arm,
and he gives you a sailing tip.
137
00:06:41,455 --> 00:06:43,763
Go back, uh,
to the turny thing. Just...
138
00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:45,541
- The Whirlie-Glee-Glee?
- Yeah.
139
00:06:45,945 --> 00:06:47,725
This thing was supposed to
do figure eights.
140
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,340
It barely did a figure one.
141
00:06:49,377 --> 00:06:50,760
Sold 1,100 units.
142
00:06:50,928 --> 00:06:52,457
I actually think
I had one as a kid.
143
00:06:53,168 --> 00:06:54,937
Well, it's bland enough
to slip through the cracks
144
00:06:54,970 --> 00:06:56,526
but quirky enough
to seem novel.
145
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,180
So, we just have to get
the kids to go crazy
146
00:06:58,205 --> 00:07:00,640
for a toy
that was once considered junk.
147
00:07:00,764 --> 00:07:03,128
Mm. Well, a toy craze
is like a con...
148
00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:04,724
You just got to convince them
that they want something
149
00:07:04,749 --> 00:07:05,749
that they didn't know
they wanted.
150
00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:07,374
In this case,
it's preschoolers.
151
00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:09,004
So, when is this thing
shipped to Africa?
152
00:07:09,082 --> 00:07:10,336
In 39 hours.
153
00:07:10,361 --> 00:07:12,758
Okay, well, we got to get our
hands on the, uh... the, uh...
154
00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:14,048
Whirlie-Glee-Glee?
155
00:07:14,091 --> 00:07:16,656
Whirlie-Glee-Glee
before it's gone-gone.
156
00:07:16,743 --> 00:07:17,610
Right.
157
00:07:51,015 --> 00:07:52,183
Hmm.
158
00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,932
Who in the hell would
give this thing to a child?
159
00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:01,840
It's not a thing.
160
00:08:01,871 --> 00:08:03,668
It is a doll,
and kids love dolls.
161
00:08:03,693 --> 00:08:04,693
It ain't no doll.
162
00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:05,986
That's some old,
voodoo witchcraft,
163
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,242
and I don't want it
up in Lucille.
164
00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:08,842
You know what? What if I said
that about the flashy kicks
165
00:08:08,871 --> 00:08:09,838
you've been giving me lately?
166
00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:11,369
Hey, they are awesome.
167
00:08:11,437 --> 00:08:12,725
They make you shiny and fast.
168
00:08:12,766 --> 00:08:16,244
Okay, this thing, no kid should
ever be subjected to... ever.
169
00:08:20,475 --> 00:08:21,626
Nate, you see this?
170
00:08:21,664 --> 00:08:22,513
Oh.
171
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,619
Guys, it doesn't matter
what toy Parker picks.
172
00:08:24,662 --> 00:08:26,110
Anything can be sold.
173
00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:26,917
Eliot's right.
174
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,586
It's just
a mass-marketing con game,
175
00:08:28,614 --> 00:08:30,896
and it's about
creating wildfire buzz
176
00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:33,418
like the modern-art world
or the movie business.
177
00:08:33,489 --> 00:08:34,554
Any crappy product...
178
00:08:34,588 --> 00:08:36,622
Wha... Baby Joy Rage
is not crappy.
179
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:39,925
- It's crappy.
- Any misunderstood product can make billions
180
00:08:39,950 --> 00:08:41,656
as long as it has
the right buzz.
181
00:08:41,696 --> 00:08:45,000
We just got to get that thing
on Hazlit's radar.
182
00:08:47,209 --> 00:08:51,509
J.I.C. says the kids will clock
the mutt in at 88.6% satisfied.
183
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:53,320
The what, sir?
184
00:08:53,355 --> 00:08:56,324
The J. I.C....
Jubilation Index Calculator.
185
00:08:56,355 --> 00:08:57,587
New app I developed.
186
00:08:57,616 --> 00:08:59,054
Just take a pic of the item.
187
00:08:59,093 --> 00:09:01,633
Boom... the thing registers
the toy's gross market
188
00:09:01,651 --> 00:09:02,927
and franchise potential
189
00:09:02,957 --> 00:09:05,942
vis-à-vis the kid's hand size,
age, and ethnicity.
190
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:09,858
88.6 is 4 points higher
than trampy... what's-her-face?
191
00:09:10,269 --> 00:09:11,721
Damsel Judy.
192
00:09:11,773 --> 00:09:14,461
Still don't know how dads
let their girls near that thing.
193
00:09:14,618 --> 00:09:16,712
But, hey, the little tramp
194
00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:18,618
earned us $24 million
last year, right?
195
00:09:20,047 --> 00:09:23,144
Hazlit has a vise-grip
on retail giant Joylandia's
196
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,393
premium shelf space.
197
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,144
Companies fight
to the death each year
198
00:09:26,171 --> 00:09:27,774
for the best shelf space
in stores.
199
00:09:27,815 --> 00:09:30,450
And that kind of contract
gets re-upped here at this expo.
200
00:09:30,476 --> 00:09:32,726
All right, Sophie,
you're the new competition.
201
00:09:32,804 --> 00:09:34,640
Get that contract.
202
00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:39,807
End caps, action alleys,
interactive kiosks...
203
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,611
I want it all because
this toy is gonna be massive.
204
00:09:43,762 --> 00:09:47,557
You don't know how many reps
tell me that, Miss... Ronder.
205
00:09:47,581 --> 00:09:49,995
Well, unlike them,
I'm not guessing.
206
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,350
I never guess.
207
00:09:51,388 --> 00:09:53,788
I have
a 95% sell-through rate.
208
00:09:53,819 --> 00:09:54,457
Mm-hmm.
209
00:09:54,481 --> 00:09:57,919
Listen... I'm telling you,
this toy is a hit.
210
00:09:58,078 --> 00:10:00,745
I'm staying at the Lamy.
211
00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:02,799
- Oh!
- Oh, pardon me.
212
00:10:02,818 --> 00:10:04,537
Excuse me.
213
00:10:04,751 --> 00:10:07,837
Hey. Trent,
how the hell are you?
214
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:10,112
Good, Gil.
Who was that?
215
00:10:10,225 --> 00:10:12,292
Oh, Mimi Ronder.
216
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,823
New toy rep
with a ton of charm...
217
00:10:16,362 --> 00:10:18,057
And a great pair of legs.
218
00:10:18,101 --> 00:10:20,999
She's bidding on Joylandia's
premium shelf space?
219
00:10:23,071 --> 00:10:25,642
You don't have a thing
to worry about, Trent, old boy.
220
00:10:25,744 --> 00:10:28,448
You always come up
with the highest bid.
221
00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:33,645
You know Hazlit's
just gonna outbid us
222
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,081
for that
shelf-space package.
223
00:10:35,108 --> 00:10:35,960
Ah, that's fine.
224
00:10:35,994 --> 00:10:37,529
That bid
was just to get on his radar.
225
00:10:38,101 --> 00:10:39,433
Now comes the hard part...
226
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:43,194
Getting the kids of America
to love a toy they never wanted.
227
00:10:43,924 --> 00:10:46,702
Ah, we just got to find the right
place to start a viral toy craze.
228
00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:49,316
Now, I ran algorithms
on all the Portland zip codes
229
00:10:49,347 --> 00:10:51,985
to find the most likely nexus
for a social buzz epidemic.
230
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:54,527
These hub agents are the most
influential family areas.
231
00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:56,764
Families who start fads.
Good.
232
00:10:56,828 --> 00:10:57,689
Right.
233
00:10:58,098 --> 00:11:00,061
Now, they're all connected
to different groups,
234
00:11:00,107 --> 00:11:02,300
but they have one thing
in common.
235
00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:05,282
Ah, a weekly farmer's market.
236
00:11:05,325 --> 00:11:07,110
So, I figure
we go set up a booth,
237
00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:08,874
start
a grassroots-type craze.
238
00:11:08,899 --> 00:11:09,462
Perfect.
239
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,884
I get a vendor's license
to sell the toy.
240
00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:13,917
- We can...
- Ehh, I don't think so.
241
00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:16,991
So... no
to the farmer's market?
242
00:11:17,032 --> 00:11:19,826
Yes to the farmer's market.
No to selling the toy there.
243
00:11:20,128 --> 00:11:20,810
We're not?
244
00:11:20,841 --> 00:11:21,927
No, we're gonna do something
245
00:11:21,945 --> 00:11:24,044
much more effective
than selling.
246
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,394
These look great.
247
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:28,437
That's fine.
248
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:31,583
Look, it's happy.
249
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:34,416
Aw, it's not so happy,
but then it's happy again.
250
00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:35,316
It changes moods.
251
00:11:35,335 --> 00:11:36,801
It's pretty cool, right?
252
00:11:38,105 --> 00:11:38,818
No?
253
00:11:38,849 --> 00:11:40,885
Hey! Here, take it...
It's free.
254
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:42,552
Thank you.
255
00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,297
Tell your friends!
256
00:11:44,887 --> 00:11:46,466
Free toys!
Yeah!
257
00:11:48,301 --> 00:11:49,471
Hey, hey.
258
00:11:49,527 --> 00:11:52,211
There you are.
All right. Huh?
259
00:11:52,235 --> 00:11:54,468
There you go, buddy.
Good?
260
00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:56,977
Nate, it seems to be working.
261
00:11:57,624 --> 00:12:00,315
The drug-dealer approach...
you for real?
262
00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:01,513
First taste is free.
263
00:12:01,562 --> 00:12:03,530
Word spreads,
keeps them coming back for more.
264
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,412
Now, we got to get that toy
in the hands of a tastemaker.
265
00:12:05,443 --> 00:12:07,412
You know, the people that
tell other people what to buy.
266
00:12:07,444 --> 00:12:09,746
And you know who the most
influential tastemakers are?
267
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,474
Celebrities.
268
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,192
I got one.
269
00:12:17,932 --> 00:12:19,615
This is pre-teen
Sandy Matteo.
270
00:12:19,659 --> 00:12:21,592
She's from that show
"Sandy's School Times."
271
00:12:21,628 --> 00:12:23,572
She's got a major fan base...
major.
272
00:12:23,597 --> 00:12:27,053
An endorsement from this girl's
gonna give us a Tsunami of hype.
273
00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:29,455
What? No!
There is no way.
274
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,343
It is three points
on the gross, or...
275
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,475
Okay, or I fire your ass...
276
00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:36,860
The Harold Shuckersan Agency
shrivels up and dies!
277
00:12:40,114 --> 00:12:41,215
Where the hell are my clothes?
278
00:12:41,253 --> 00:12:44,654
It's impossible to find anything
in these giant totes, isn't it?
279
00:12:44,685 --> 00:12:47,451
You know, I almost
lost my Shih Tzu in mine.
280
00:12:49,376 --> 00:12:51,064
No.
No, no.
281
00:12:51,096 --> 00:12:52,294
That's disgusting.
282
00:12:52,347 --> 00:12:54,180
What's yours, hmm?
A Gucci?
283
00:12:54,226 --> 00:12:57,412
It's an original Erin Walter...
Not on the market yet.
284
00:12:57,439 --> 00:12:58,407
Ohh.
285
00:12:58,510 --> 00:13:00,245
You're Sandy Matteo, right?
286
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:04,336
You're marvelous, darling.
287
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:15,661
Sandy Matteo now loves
and endorses Baby Joy Rage.
288
00:13:15,691 --> 00:13:16,492
You know what, man?
289
00:13:16,511 --> 00:13:18,880
I could actually make
a second career as a paparazzo.
290
00:13:18,911 --> 00:13:20,621
All right, great. Let's get
that endorsement out there.
291
00:13:20,652 --> 00:13:23,015
Got you. I am currently
embedding Matteo's photos
292
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:24,615
on 23 different sites...
293
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:28,004
Teen blog pages, game portals,
toy blogs... you name it.
294
00:13:28,046 --> 00:13:29,534
I even got celebrities
tweeting about it.
295
00:13:29,553 --> 00:13:31,017
Man, if there is a kid
who does not know
296
00:13:31,036 --> 00:13:32,051
what this toy is by next week,
297
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:34,495
they're probably being homeschooled
somewhere under a rock.
298
00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:36,480
Okay, next step is scarcity.
299
00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:37,733
All right, we got to
make it feel like
300
00:13:37,745 --> 00:13:38,991
every mom and dad
in the country
301
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:40,591
can't get their hands
on this toy.
302
00:13:40,724 --> 00:13:41,692
Got it.
303
00:13:42,574 --> 00:13:46,408
I was just wondering if
you might, by any chance,
304
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:52,451
have one of those
Baby Joy Rage... no, "Joy Rage."
305
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:53,426
It's a doll.
306
00:13:53,438 --> 00:13:54,555
Okay.
Well, yeah, I...
307
00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:56,661
Zachary.
308
00:13:56,692 --> 00:13:58,296
I need more conviction.
309
00:13:58,316 --> 00:13:59,549
What's the most important thing
310
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:00,987
for an actor to remember
in character?
311
00:14:01,017 --> 00:14:03,911
- Your lines.
- No... desire.
312
00:14:03,948 --> 00:14:05,682
What do you want, Zachary?
313
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,242
What does the character want?
314
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:07,933
The toy.
315
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,743
Why do you want it, Zachary?
316
00:14:09,802 --> 00:14:11,302
To make my child happy?
317
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:11,897
No.
318
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,528
You want that toy
so that your child
319
00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:15,167
will sit still
for a couple of seconds
320
00:14:15,191 --> 00:14:16,358
and give you some peace
and quiet
321
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,603
so you can finally open
that delicious bottle of Merlot
322
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,149
that you've been dreaming about
since 10:00 A.M. this morning.
323
00:14:21,572 --> 00:14:23,176
God.
324
00:14:24,257 --> 00:14:25,525
You get me.
325
00:14:26,396 --> 00:14:28,355
- When I win my first Oscar...
- Mm.
326
00:14:28,392 --> 00:14:30,111
I'm gonna name it after you,
Ms. Devereaux.
327
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:30,760
Ah.
328
00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:32,324
I'm gonna thank everyone,
and then I'm gonna say,
329
00:14:32,384 --> 00:14:33,709
"This is not an
Oscar..." -Mnh-mnh.
330
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,557
- "...it's a Devereaux."
- Okay, Zachary.
331
00:14:36,589 --> 00:14:37,402
Right.
332
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:41,213
Hello. Yes.
333
00:14:41,377 --> 00:14:43,974
I need this Baby Joy Rage doll.
334
00:14:43,999 --> 00:14:45,837
"Baby Joy Rage."
335
00:14:45,908 --> 00:14:48,707
Yeah, my kid has been
going crazy for this thing.
336
00:14:48,741 --> 00:14:49,962
All of his friends have one,
337
00:14:49,993 --> 00:14:53,294
and my wife has made me
drive to the store three times
338
00:14:53,331 --> 00:14:55,508
just to see if it's in yet.
339
00:14:55,864 --> 00:14:57,686
Pantani!
340
00:15:00,239 --> 00:15:01,690
You wanted to see me, sir?
341
00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:02,867
What the hell is this?
342
00:15:05,044 --> 00:15:06,615
Sandy Matteo
is plugging this doll?
343
00:15:06,652 --> 00:15:08,219
I thought she had
an exclusive with us...
344
00:15:08,309 --> 00:15:09,615
On the mini-skirt
dancer hoop.
345
00:15:09,652 --> 00:15:10,571
Well, I'll look into it.
346
00:15:10,596 --> 00:15:12,288
And customer relations
is saying we're getting calls
347
00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:13,524
asking if we own the doll,
348
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:15,061
wanting to know
when it's gonna be released.
349
00:15:16,946 --> 00:15:18,146
Oh, well, look at this.
350
00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:19,488
That toy rep I saw.
351
00:15:19,525 --> 00:15:22,213
Oh, oh, she is a naughty,
naughty girl.
352
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:25,009
Okay, I want a sit-down
with Gil Barton at Joylandia
353
00:15:25,043 --> 00:15:25,915
A.S.A.-Freaking-P.
354
00:15:25,939 --> 00:15:27,451
And I want
the media saturation numbers
355
00:15:27,482 --> 00:15:30,610
on this demon doll before
the end of business today.
356
00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:32,368
Come on!
Chop-chop!
357
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,174
Let's move!
358
00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:39,538
Baby Joy Rage's media saturation
number's hovering around 62%.
359
00:15:39,581 --> 00:15:40,454
It's not enough.
360
00:15:40,485 --> 00:15:41,846
We need it to be at least 89%.
361
00:15:41,867 --> 00:15:44,490
Santa's little helper here
is right... the doll's a bust.
362
00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:46,155
Whirlie stupid thing
would have done worse.
363
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:47,574
And you're an expert
on this because?
364
00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:49,093
- Guys.
- Because I was there.
365
00:15:49,134 --> 00:15:50,666
- It spoke to me.
- It spoke to you?
366
00:15:50,693 --> 00:15:52,094
Yes, it reminded me of a toy
367
00:15:52,123 --> 00:15:54,391
my social worker used to
make me do exercises with.
368
00:15:54,438 --> 00:15:55,393
Are you kidding me with that?
369
00:15:55,423 --> 00:15:56,913
Oh, like you always do
what you're supposed to?
370
00:15:56,946 --> 00:15:58,178
Guys, just settle down.
371
00:15:58,209 --> 00:16:00,512
Wait a minute. Exercises...
What kind of exercises?
372
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:03,572
Identifying emotions
or something like that.
373
00:16:05,993 --> 00:16:08,093
And what do you feel here?
374
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:10,822
Anger.
375
00:16:13,227 --> 00:16:15,529
And this girl
with an ice cream cone?
376
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,908
More anger.
377
00:16:21,871 --> 00:16:24,370
And these happy folks
at the beach?
378
00:16:24,524 --> 00:16:28,259
Actually, this one may be...
379
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,506
Definitely anger.
380
00:16:31,286 --> 00:16:32,768
That's it. That's it.
It's obvious.
381
00:16:32,786 --> 00:16:34,637
We can't
con a 6-year-old.
382
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:36,201
You know who we can con?
383
00:16:37,135 --> 00:16:38,429
Their parents.
384
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:41,710
Okay, so Hardison you get on that lecture
thing, Eliot you get on the mommies.
385
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,261
And he doesn't mean that
literally.
386
00:16:43,279 --> 00:16:45,359
- That joke is never funny.
- It's always funny.
387
00:16:45,390 --> 00:16:46,372
No.
It's not, Hardison.
388
00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:48,018
Comedy's about timing,
and you don't have it!
389
00:16:48,062 --> 00:16:49,955
Do we really think parents
are gonna bite on this?
390
00:16:50,036 --> 00:16:52,142
Uh, yeah. What do you think
parents are most afraid of?
391
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:53,258
- Clowns.
- No.
392
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,425
- Evil clowns?
- No, Parker.
393
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:57,058
Crazy clowns called GeeGee who whisper
your name from under your bed?
394
00:16:57,849 --> 00:16:58,911
No.
395
00:16:58,988 --> 00:17:00,478
No, parents are most afraid
that their kids
396
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:02,150
aren't gonna be successful...
That they're somehow
397
00:17:02,184 --> 00:17:03,559
not gonna be able
to compete with other kids.
398
00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:05,683
They're gonna be left behind...
That's what they're most afraid of.
399
00:17:05,713 --> 00:17:08,299
So, we pitch the doll
as a developmental tool,
400
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,988
and the child uses it
to access their emotions
401
00:17:11,019 --> 00:17:12,388
and become more socially aware.
402
00:17:12,412 --> 00:17:13,475
Absolutely.
This is gonna work.
403
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,844
And if they don't buy it,
they run the risk
404
00:17:14,856 --> 00:17:15,794
of the kid being a misfit
405
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:17,181
and living in the basement
until he's 40.
406
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:20,088
We need a name for the new
toy... and a good name. Uhh...
407
00:17:20,115 --> 00:17:21,381
Not crazy GeeGee.
408
00:17:21,428 --> 00:17:22,495
Uh, no. Umm...
409
00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:24,916
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
410
00:17:25,568 --> 00:17:27,184
Wait... wait, what? What?
411
00:17:27,354 --> 00:17:28,987
"Baby Feels-A-Lot."
412
00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:31,622
I feel a lot.
You feel a lot.
413
00:17:31,647 --> 00:17:32,741
We all feel a lot.
414
00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:34,661
And it's okay to feel a lot,
415
00:17:34,691 --> 00:17:38,827
as long as you
use your words, right?
416
00:17:43,081 --> 00:17:44,151
Sophie Devereaux.
417
00:17:44,182 --> 00:17:47,341
Isn't this...
I don't know, wrong...
418
00:17:47,574 --> 00:17:50,074
Messing with Christmas presents,
playing with parents' fears?
419
00:17:50,093 --> 00:17:51,814
I mean, don't you feel
just a little bit guilty
420
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:52,838
given the holiday?
421
00:17:52,878 --> 00:17:53,639
Mm, no.
422
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,814
- I do.
- Why?
423
00:17:54,848 --> 00:17:56,027
Because.
424
00:17:56,101 --> 00:17:59,108
Parker, why is that people give
each other Christmas presents?
425
00:17:59,188 --> 00:18:00,169
To be nice.
426
00:18:00,206 --> 00:18:01,675
No, because
they're being programmed
427
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:04,466
by these giant corporations
that do all this research
428
00:18:04,496 --> 00:18:06,952
to figure out how to push these
psychological buttons in people
429
00:18:06,979 --> 00:18:09,073
to make them
get these presents, right?
430
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,571
Make no mistake,
what we're doing
431
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,359
is we're manipulating fears
and making these toys,
432
00:18:13,394 --> 00:18:14,788
all of it.
433
00:18:15,282 --> 00:18:19,653
This...
This... is Christmas.
434
00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:22,399
Yeah.
435
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,527
Let's get to work.
436
00:18:24,718 --> 00:18:26,842
Children are unable
to communicate
437
00:18:26,867 --> 00:18:28,267
the way they once did.
438
00:18:28,422 --> 00:18:31,675
We have taken away their need
for cognitive thought process,
439
00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:34,626
their yearning
for communiqué, if you will.
440
00:18:34,911 --> 00:18:37,767
But I'm here to tell you that
that is all about to change
441
00:18:37,975 --> 00:18:41,448
because we are bringing you
a new toy to the marketplace.
442
00:18:41,632 --> 00:18:45,700
Please allow me to present
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
443
00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:49,246
Now children will be able
to once again communicate
444
00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:51,090
on a humane level.
445
00:18:51,314 --> 00:18:54,946
They will be able to learn how
to be emotionally articulate.
446
00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:56,339
Are they happy?
447
00:18:56,755 --> 00:18:58,288
Are they sad?
448
00:18:58,421 --> 00:18:59,920
Are they mad?
449
00:19:00,425 --> 00:19:03,226
It is because we, as adults,
450
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:07,363
know that fun
is the work of childhood,
451
00:19:07,748 --> 00:19:13,131
and toys are the tools that
we use to accomplish that work.
452
00:19:14,064 --> 00:19:15,714
Thank you.
453
00:19:15,783 --> 00:19:17,014
All right, cut.
454
00:19:17,099 --> 00:19:19,000
Dude, how do you
come up with this crap?
455
00:19:19,016 --> 00:19:21,816
I studied
early-childhood development.
456
00:19:21,872 --> 00:19:23,185
Look, man, video's done.
457
00:19:23,216 --> 00:19:25,152
I make it seem like
I'm talking to hundreds,
458
00:19:25,193 --> 00:19:27,671
upload it to the blogger mom
sites, we're good to go.
459
00:19:27,696 --> 00:19:29,263
Dude, the blogger moms?
460
00:19:29,297 --> 00:19:30,813
Yes, blogger moms.
461
00:19:31,079 --> 00:19:34,105
They talk about parenthood,
schools, life at home.
462
00:19:34,145 --> 00:19:36,512
Look, you get one of these sites
to endorse you,
463
00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:38,660
your toy's gonna go viral...
trust me.
464
00:19:42,468 --> 00:19:43,467
That's a blogger mom?
465
00:19:43,502 --> 00:19:44,837
Uh, Chardonnay Mom?
466
00:19:44,861 --> 00:19:46,130
Yeah, that's
Allie Stanbrook, man.
467
00:19:46,155 --> 00:19:49,186
She runs one of the top
blogger sites in the nation.
468
00:19:49,368 --> 00:19:51,282
She's local, too...
PDX, baby.
469
00:19:52,878 --> 00:19:54,779
All right, look, listen to me,
470
00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:57,060
if I'm gonna do this,
all right, I want to...
471
00:19:57,629 --> 00:19:58,734
I want to be tough dad.
472
00:19:58,752 --> 00:20:00,214
You know what I mean?
Cool dad.
473
00:20:00,238 --> 00:20:01,175
Just enough to turn her head.
474
00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:03,075
Don't go overboard on this.
Keep it simple.
475
00:20:03,117 --> 00:20:06,398
You know, someone who's...
Who's not afraid to make a PBandJ,
476
00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:08,439
okay, but still wants to
go out in the yard, get dirty,
477
00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:09,873
kick the soccer ball around
a little bit...
478
00:20:09,907 --> 00:20:12,710
Strict... but fair.
479
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:17,207
After my wife passed,
it was, uh...
480
00:20:17,691 --> 00:20:24,696
It was very tough for me and my
son... Dashiel... to communicate.
481
00:20:29,317 --> 00:20:34,569
But... that's when Baby
Feels-A-Lot came into our lives.
482
00:20:35,054 --> 00:20:36,858
And, you know, listen,
don't get me wrong.
483
00:20:36,883 --> 00:20:38,424
I'm one of those dads...
484
00:20:38,462 --> 00:20:40,932
I had a problem with my son
playing with a doll.
485
00:20:40,993 --> 00:20:42,529
- Yeah.
- But...
486
00:20:43,657 --> 00:20:46,651
I'll tell you something...
it worked.
487
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,818
- We were talking again.
- Aww.
488
00:20:48,939 --> 00:20:51,898
You know,
we were father and son.
489
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:55,794
And I felt the duty...
I had to get this out there.
490
00:20:55,825 --> 00:21:00,261
I had to let the other dads know
what this product did for us.
491
00:21:00,916 --> 00:21:02,666
So, I started a blog.
492
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,188
Oh, my God.
493
00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:07,075
Well, I know what it's like
to be left alone.
494
00:21:07,893 --> 00:21:10,820
I mean, after my divorce,
I was utterly gutted,
495
00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:13,658
went through
all the stages of grief.
496
00:21:14,111 --> 00:21:15,912
It's what led me
to start blogging.
497
00:21:16,965 --> 00:21:19,031
Hang in there, okay?
498
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:20,660
I will.
499
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:23,239
Honestly, I think
with you here, Allie,
500
00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:25,592
I might just be able
to hang on forever.
501
00:21:25,636 --> 00:21:26,849
Aww.
502
00:21:27,922 --> 00:21:29,317
Oh, Carl.
Oh.
503
00:21:29,434 --> 00:21:30,972
Oh.
504
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:33,134
Well, not only
do you have my support,
505
00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:36,003
but you have the support of
every blogger mom in the state.
506
00:21:36,034 --> 00:21:38,429
- Oh, thank you.
- Ladies?
507
00:21:43,513 --> 00:21:44,707
I don't know who you are, lady,
508
00:21:44,732 --> 00:21:46,467
but your latest move
with that doll,
509
00:21:46,495 --> 00:21:48,348
playing the smart baby card?
510
00:21:48,797 --> 00:21:52,947
Nicely done...
If this was 2004.
511
00:21:53,111 --> 00:21:55,322
Smart babies
are so eight years ago.
512
00:21:57,825 --> 00:22:00,373
Well-adjusted children
are so today.
513
00:22:00,410 --> 00:22:03,077
In Dallas last week,
they used the Baby Feels-A-Lot doll
514
00:22:03,096 --> 00:22:05,566
to defuse a gun standoff
in the middle school.
515
00:22:05,649 --> 00:22:09,190
Do your toys save lives,
Mr. Hazlit?
516
00:22:09,534 --> 00:22:10,501
Well, that is one smart baby.
517
00:22:10,535 --> 00:22:12,160
Hey, Trent.
518
00:22:12,321 --> 00:22:14,230
- Let's talk shelves.
- Let's.
519
00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:15,853
Oh, Mr. Barton.
520
00:22:15,878 --> 00:22:17,247
I'm so sorry.
521
00:22:17,284 --> 00:22:20,764
I just have a few minutes
before my 3:15 at Mattel.
522
00:22:20,793 --> 00:22:23,072
So, if you could possibly...
523
00:22:23,097 --> 00:22:26,796
Well... I don't
suppose old Trent would mind,
524
00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:27,915
would you, son?
525
00:22:27,942 --> 00:22:29,941
I mean, ladies first.
526
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:35,168
Ladies... of course.
527
00:22:36,065 --> 00:22:37,993
Okay, I've written
three months' worth of blogs
528
00:22:38,043 --> 00:22:39,787
for our sensitive dad
over here.
529
00:22:39,806 --> 00:22:42,267
I got prices for the braces,
Dashiel's chess club...
530
00:22:42,291 --> 00:22:44,120
You put in there
that we went to the Super Bowl?
531
00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:46,269
Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, you even
met some of the players.
532
00:22:46,297 --> 00:22:48,375
Now, what I was thinking...
Tell me what you feel.
533
00:22:48,411 --> 00:22:51,011
You guys go on, like,
a road trip cross-country,
534
00:22:51,038 --> 00:22:52,188
you do a tour,
something like that.
535
00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:53,917
- Yeah, yeah. I like that. I like that.
- You go see...
536
00:22:53,949 --> 00:22:55,380
Or... and I'm just gonna
put this out there...
537
00:22:55,403 --> 00:22:56,399
What if I took him on a tour
538
00:22:56,430 --> 00:22:58,977
of all the ball parks
in America, Hardison, huh?
539
00:22:58,996 --> 00:23:00,810
Or maybe took him
to the opera or the moon, huh?
540
00:23:00,834 --> 00:23:01,825
A little sarcasm?
541
00:23:01,862 --> 00:23:03,579
You know, believable
father-and-son stuff!
542
00:23:03,603 --> 00:23:04,902
A little focus, please.
543
00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:06,777
- Focus your mind. - Look at
the picture he used, man!
544
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,277
Hey! Hey!
Excuse me, man.
545
00:23:08,314 --> 00:23:10,697
I'm sorry if this kind of
writing opens me up creatively.
546
00:23:10,734 --> 00:23:12,538
I'm usually stuck looking
at binary codes all day.
547
00:23:12,568 --> 00:23:15,164
Maybe I was writing the father
that I wanted one day, okay?
548
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,770
M... what's the problem with
getting emotionally butt naked?
549
00:23:18,795 --> 00:23:20,370
- Whoa. - Oh, please, don't. Please, don't.
Hey, we...
550
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,352
- I'm just trying to share my feelings...on paper.
- We don't want to see that.
551
00:23:22,388 --> 00:23:23,353
No, please.
Please, don't.
552
00:23:23,384 --> 00:23:24,296
No, listen, Hardison,
553
00:23:24,326 --> 00:23:25,963
I'm very happy with
your creativity and everything,
554
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,511
but what I want to know is,
what do you have
555
00:23:27,535 --> 00:23:29,426
on the blogger moms
about Eliot?
556
00:23:29,470 --> 00:23:30,808
Oh, what did the mamas say?
557
00:23:30,873 --> 00:23:33,942
Oh, what are they saying
about the sensitive dad?
558
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,606
I got something for you.
I got something for your ass.
559
00:23:37,637 --> 00:23:39,170
Boom.
Chardonnay Mama.
560
00:23:39,206 --> 00:23:40,012
She cute, though.
561
00:23:40,037 --> 00:23:41,011
- Ain't she fine?
- She is.
562
00:23:41,035 --> 00:23:41,651
Look what she says.
563
00:23:41,689 --> 00:23:43,799
"Oh, this week,
I was introduced
564
00:23:43,829 --> 00:23:46,537
"to an amazing new toy
called Baby Feels-A-Lot,
565
00:23:46,561 --> 00:23:48,805
"thanks to a gentleman
who couldn't be more kind,
566
00:23:48,824 --> 00:23:51,464
more handsome, or
more sensitive single dad."
567
00:23:51,504 --> 00:23:52,530
You don't deserve none of that.
568
00:23:52,548 --> 00:23:54,082
Now, how are we doing
with the toy's popularity?
569
00:23:54,115 --> 00:23:57,096
Saturation indexes are ticking
up 'cause I did my job.
570
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:59,377
- All right.
- Sophie, what's Hazlit up to?
571
00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:02,420
Well, if you're really serious,
572
00:24:02,450 --> 00:24:04,673
I mean, our next retreat's
gonna be in Tahoe.
573
00:24:04,698 --> 00:24:06,550
Oh, Tahoe...
count me in.
574
00:24:06,582 --> 00:24:08,014
Don't tease me, Gil.
575
00:24:08,049 --> 00:24:09,687
- I am so flattered...
- Excuse me, sir?
576
00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:11,550
that you asked me.
577
00:24:11,759 --> 00:24:13,160
Oh, excuse me, Mimi.
578
00:24:13,588 --> 00:24:16,205
If I had a nickel for every
deal memo I had to sign.
579
00:24:16,229 --> 00:24:17,462
Oh, no problem, Gil.
580
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:19,960
It's been such a pleasure
talking to you.
581
00:24:20,007 --> 00:24:23,067
Next year, you and me,
kite surfing, Tahoe.
582
00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:26,200
Tahoe? Great.
583
00:24:27,113 --> 00:24:28,782
What the hell's going on here?
584
00:24:28,971 --> 00:24:29,893
What are you talking about?
585
00:24:29,917 --> 00:24:30,884
It's all over the expo.
586
00:24:30,919 --> 00:24:31,957
Little Miss High Heels there
587
00:24:31,981 --> 00:24:33,546
is bidding
on the premium shelf space...
588
00:24:33,570 --> 00:24:35,709
days before
my Chubby Snubby launch.
589
00:24:35,727 --> 00:24:37,999
I don't think
I like your tone, Trent.
590
00:24:38,413 --> 00:24:39,747
I'll call you later.
591
00:24:39,794 --> 00:24:41,430
You have my number.
592
00:24:42,577 --> 00:24:44,210
I got yours.
593
00:24:45,738 --> 00:24:47,762
- Hi.
- Merry Christmas!
594
00:24:47,822 --> 00:24:50,818
Merry... ohh, you're grumpy.
595
00:24:50,873 --> 00:24:52,939
Merry Christmas!
596
00:24:53,386 --> 00:24:56,677
A little worried,
Mr. Hazlit?
597
00:24:56,748 --> 00:24:59,949
1989.
598
00:25:00,076 --> 00:25:01,783
"1989"?
599
00:25:02,049 --> 00:25:04,849
25 macheted contras wanting
to gut me navel-to-chin
600
00:25:04,892 --> 00:25:08,052
in the Honduran rain forest...
then, I was worried.
601
00:25:08,218 --> 00:25:09,900
This?
This is nothing.
602
00:25:10,029 --> 00:25:11,792
But I earned
the contras' respect,
603
00:25:11,859 --> 00:25:13,570
and they taught me one thing.
604
00:25:13,601 --> 00:25:14,858
I'm all ears.
605
00:25:14,909 --> 00:25:16,687
"Plata o plomo."
606
00:25:17,562 --> 00:25:19,367
"Silver or lead."
607
00:25:19,709 --> 00:25:21,077
Exactly.
608
00:25:21,393 --> 00:25:25,098
Take a bribe, the silver,
or you get a bullet, the lead.
609
00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:28,109
Those are gonna be Barton's
options in the next few minutes.
610
00:25:28,672 --> 00:25:32,180
Behind door number one...
$80,000 in cash.
611
00:25:32,987 --> 00:25:35,834
Take a peek inside
for the lead.
612
00:25:38,486 --> 00:25:41,676
Pictures of Barton's
last trip to Cabo...
613
00:25:41,709 --> 00:25:44,132
Pictures the missus
doesn't want to see.
614
00:25:44,603 --> 00:25:46,886
Which do you think
he's gonna choose?
615
00:25:47,721 --> 00:25:49,077
You play dirty, Hazlit.
616
00:25:49,127 --> 00:25:51,080
Well, you have no idea.
617
00:25:51,117 --> 00:25:54,939
And without Joylandia,
your Baby Feel-Me-Up
618
00:25:55,002 --> 00:25:56,537
with all her little feelings
619
00:25:56,614 --> 00:25:58,607
that make the kiddies
so emotionally articulate...
620
00:25:58,638 --> 00:26:00,173
You know what happens to it?
621
00:26:00,512 --> 00:26:02,740
Poof. Bye-bye.
622
00:26:05,150 --> 00:26:07,484
Hazlit is blackmailing Barton
623
00:26:07,509 --> 00:26:09,486
to try and nix my shelf space,
624
00:26:09,517 --> 00:26:11,071
and he thinks it's turning
me on.
625
00:26:11,098 --> 00:26:13,792
The guy is a menace.
626
00:26:13,829 --> 00:26:14,986
He's a menace.
All right.
627
00:26:15,010 --> 00:26:16,555
So, we become more of a menace.
628
00:26:16,677 --> 00:26:18,187
Hardison, how are we on sales?
629
00:26:18,340 --> 00:26:19,921
Umm...
630
00:26:20,975 --> 00:26:23,631
Well, the blogs in Sophie's
theater group pimp the demand,
631
00:26:23,660 --> 00:26:26,072
but the parents are buying 52%
of their holiday gifts
632
00:26:26,104 --> 00:26:27,038
on the Internet.
633
00:26:27,057 --> 00:26:29,986
Okay, so, we have to up Baby
Feels-A-Lot's online appeal.
634
00:26:29,999 --> 00:26:31,215
- Yeah, presales.
- Yes.
635
00:26:31,239 --> 00:26:32,858
And then when the sales
go through the roof,
636
00:26:32,877 --> 00:26:34,303
Hazlit is gonna want to buy in.
637
00:26:34,334 --> 00:26:37,223
So, we set up a meeting
with him and the owner of...
638
00:26:37,797 --> 00:26:39,988
Lucky Beans Toys.
639
00:26:40,033 --> 00:26:41,564
Yes, me.
640
00:26:41,664 --> 00:26:43,810
- All right.
- What?
641
00:26:44,367 --> 00:26:45,930
Nothing.
642
00:26:46,027 --> 00:26:47,861
Okay?
643
00:26:49,937 --> 00:26:52,841
Well, it's just...
I was talking to Parker,
644
00:26:52,919 --> 00:26:54,420
and, I mean, we're a little down
about Christmas.
645
00:26:54,449 --> 00:26:55,615
We think... we're...
646
00:26:56,030 --> 00:26:58,534
Kind of ruining the holiday
or something.
647
00:26:58,968 --> 00:27:01,136
Hardison,
Christmas was pre-ruined.
648
00:27:01,159 --> 00:27:02,837
You know how it began?
649
00:27:02,862 --> 00:27:03,893
No. Shh.
650
00:27:03,924 --> 00:27:05,418
Yeah, it was a fat guy
in a chimney.
651
00:27:05,449 --> 00:27:08,101
Christmas began as a pagan,
pre-Roman feast
652
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:10,560
involving
the sacrifice of children.
653
00:27:12,220 --> 00:27:13,787
Ho-ho-ho.
654
00:27:14,422 --> 00:27:16,166
Is he serious?
655
00:27:17,206 --> 00:27:19,170
I mean, dang, I feel like
I just got sucker-punched
656
00:27:19,195 --> 00:27:20,728
by an elf-hating,
scrooge-loving,
657
00:27:20,752 --> 00:27:22,798
no-gift-giving
anti-claus.
658
00:27:22,882 --> 00:27:25,712
I mean, am I bleeding?
659
00:27:26,958 --> 00:27:28,458
Little bit.
660
00:27:30,633 --> 00:27:33,458
Sir, this Baby Feels-A-Lot craze
isn't going away.
661
00:27:33,483 --> 00:27:35,150
What do you mean?
We killed it.
662
00:27:35,182 --> 00:27:36,981
Well, the toy's generating
so much buzz
663
00:27:37,006 --> 00:27:40,347
that it's already ranked 5th on
the NPD charts for web presales.
664
00:27:40,683 --> 00:27:41,749
Ahead of Chubby Snubby?
665
00:27:41,773 --> 00:27:43,868
Two days Max
before it hits the top spot.
666
00:27:43,943 --> 00:27:45,770
People are pre-ordering it
like crazy,
667
00:27:45,807 --> 00:27:47,739
and it hasn't even hit
a single store shelf yet.
668
00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:49,505
It's just gone viral, boss.
669
00:27:51,851 --> 00:27:55,821
I want a sit-down with this
Baby Feels-So-Hot woman,
670
00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:57,093
and I want it now.
671
00:27:57,161 --> 00:27:58,856
Go.
672
00:28:02,012 --> 00:28:05,744
So, you take away
Baby Feels-A-Lot's shelf space
673
00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:08,332
and then take me out
for drinks.
674
00:28:10,173 --> 00:28:11,840
Maybe I was wrong...
675
00:28:12,156 --> 00:28:14,329
Underestimating
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
676
00:28:14,385 --> 00:28:15,352
Oh?
677
00:28:15,397 --> 00:28:16,839
I'm a sensible businessman.
678
00:28:16,877 --> 00:28:18,120
Let me meet the owner.
679
00:28:18,186 --> 00:28:19,613
You be my back channel.
680
00:28:19,644 --> 00:28:22,208
Maybe you and I can...
do business.
681
00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:23,361
What's in it for me?
682
00:28:23,386 --> 00:28:27,088
You make a move on Baby
Feels-A-Lot, I'm out of a job.
683
00:28:27,590 --> 00:28:30,190
Quarter-point of the gross
on the deal...
684
00:28:30,281 --> 00:28:32,347
Compensates you well.
685
00:28:32,954 --> 00:28:37,702
Enticing, but... I have to
warn you about Earl Greipal,
686
00:28:37,727 --> 00:28:39,313
the owner of Lucky Beans.
687
00:28:39,331 --> 00:28:43,018
He's... well, let's say
he's somewhat eccentric,
688
00:28:43,036 --> 00:28:46,135
and he's very hostile
to selling his company.
689
00:28:46,187 --> 00:28:48,221
Most of these indie toy guys
are frigging nuts...
690
00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:49,790
That is, until they see
the number of zeroes
691
00:28:49,828 --> 00:28:50,719
I put on a check.
692
00:28:50,756 --> 00:28:53,799
Half a point of the gross,
21k as a finder's fee,
693
00:28:53,823 --> 00:28:58,020
and a V.P. position at Poggio
Toys... that's what I want.
694
00:28:59,506 --> 00:29:01,301
God, you're good.
695
00:29:02,227 --> 00:29:03,528
Deal.
696
00:29:04,074 --> 00:29:07,451
By the way, you available?
697
00:29:07,661 --> 00:29:09,395
No, I'm married.
698
00:29:09,980 --> 00:29:13,050
You see, I didn't ask you that.
699
00:29:13,515 --> 00:29:18,287
Let's stick to business,
for now, Trent.
700
00:29:24,218 --> 00:29:25,938
"For now."
701
00:29:30,167 --> 00:29:32,511
Hazlit's on the hook
for Baby Feels-A-Lot.
702
00:29:32,542 --> 00:29:33,916
Damn, girl,
you were right all along.
703
00:29:33,947 --> 00:29:35,191
That toy does have legs.
704
00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:37,879
And you doubted me
just like the rest of them.
705
00:29:38,012 --> 00:29:39,613
Me? No.
706
00:29:39,647 --> 00:29:41,947
I would...
I wouldn't do that.
707
00:29:43,339 --> 00:29:45,958
Mm-hmm. Yep.
708
00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:47,844
Hello.
Lucky Bean Toys?
709
00:29:48,235 --> 00:29:50,479
This is Charlotte Gerrard,
fire chief.
710
00:29:50,711 --> 00:29:53,115
Our machines
detected a severe gas leak
711
00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,158
in one of your
company buildings.
712
00:29:55,764 --> 00:29:57,902
Yes, that's the one...
the one you have.
713
00:29:57,931 --> 00:29:59,331
That company building.
714
00:29:59,477 --> 00:30:00,096
Yes.
715
00:30:00,127 --> 00:30:03,530
Yes, you need to evacuate
everyone immediately.
716
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:05,520
I said "everyone"!
717
00:30:07,661 --> 00:30:09,832
- Think that'll do it?
- Yeah, it should.
718
00:30:09,874 --> 00:30:10,800
- Yeah.
- It should.
719
00:30:10,837 --> 00:30:12,181
I think I scared her
a little bit. Did you jump?
720
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:13,612
- You scared me.
- Jumpy.
721
00:30:18,604 --> 00:30:20,874
Well, while I'm baffled...
722
00:30:21,033 --> 00:30:24,192
Delighted by the sudden interest
in my toy,
723
00:30:24,348 --> 00:30:28,182
money is not why I designed
baby feels-a-lot.
724
00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:29,535
No.
725
00:30:30,096 --> 00:30:33,963
I did it for my son,
Nestor, yes...
726
00:30:34,522 --> 00:30:36,773
Who is now in federal prison.
727
00:30:36,831 --> 00:30:37,797
Oh?
728
00:30:37,831 --> 00:30:39,697
Yes, it was a nasty episode
729
00:30:39,731 --> 00:30:42,037
involving horses
and men from Tacoma.
730
00:30:42,243 --> 00:30:45,607
Doctors attribute it to
Nestor's difficulty growing up,
731
00:30:46,037 --> 00:30:49,675
having emotions,
frustration, anger issues.
732
00:30:49,905 --> 00:30:50,736
I see.
733
00:30:50,773 --> 00:30:52,692
Mr. Greipal has often said
734
00:30:52,729 --> 00:30:55,829
that he wished that there had
been a toy like Baby Feels-A-Lot
735
00:30:55,876 --> 00:30:58,876
during Nestor's
developmental years.
736
00:30:58,950 --> 00:31:01,518
I wish there had been a toy
like Baby Feels-A-Lot
737
00:31:01,549 --> 00:31:03,934
during Nestor's
developmental years.
738
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:06,991
Ah, different times.
739
00:31:07,709 --> 00:31:09,845
So, Mr. Hazlit,
you know, experts...
740
00:31:09,877 --> 00:31:12,608
they can look at data
or color schematics
741
00:31:12,630 --> 00:31:16,410
about what children
supposedly like or don't like.
742
00:31:17,866 --> 00:31:20,119
But really what they should do
is they should...
743
00:31:20,268 --> 00:31:23,910
They should look inside
at the child inside themselves.
744
00:31:23,954 --> 00:31:28,158
That's what we intend to do with
Baby Feels-A-Lot, Mr. Greipal.
745
00:31:28,176 --> 00:31:30,146
We have an excellent
track record...
746
00:31:30,184 --> 00:31:33,054
Yes, okay,
but the child within me
747
00:31:33,088 --> 00:31:36,538
is saying that
what you intend to do
748
00:31:36,563 --> 00:31:39,363
is ship Nestor's toy
off to China
749
00:31:39,403 --> 00:31:43,658
and turn it into some sort
of emotional abomination.
750
00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:45,439
You haven't heard my offer.
751
00:31:45,465 --> 00:31:49,766
Well, I'm afraid that no matter
how generous your offer is...
752
00:31:52,335 --> 00:31:54,670
The answer is no.
753
00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:00,620
Okay.
754
00:32:00,654 --> 00:32:01,831
Fine.
755
00:32:03,055 --> 00:32:04,627
You ask me, Geppetto in there
756
00:32:04,658 --> 00:32:06,919
wants to navel-gaze
for the next 10 years,
757
00:32:06,944 --> 00:32:08,357
not sell his company.
758
00:32:08,387 --> 00:32:11,668
Look, you make a very fast,
very large offer
759
00:32:11,699 --> 00:32:15,776
before this craze goes nuts,
and I promise you he'll bite.
760
00:32:15,820 --> 00:32:18,870
He's odd, yes,
but he's not stupid.
761
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:23,289
I know that you corporate guys
like to move slowly, you know,
762
00:32:23,313 --> 00:32:26,394
while lawyers
poke around for months,
763
00:32:26,531 --> 00:32:30,697
but if Greipal gets hinky,
this thing is all over.
764
00:32:31,328 --> 00:32:32,778
Give me the sample of the toy.
765
00:32:32,837 --> 00:32:34,103
I want to run a safety study.
766
00:32:34,126 --> 00:32:36,628
Well, don't we just fudge
the safety numbers down the road
767
00:32:36,656 --> 00:32:37,656
if we have to?
768
00:32:37,753 --> 00:32:41,658
Ohh, we could be
so great together.
769
00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:45,262
I'll overnight an expedited
study... my company's license.
770
00:32:45,287 --> 00:32:47,809
Whatever the results, call me
tomorrow with Greipal's price.
771
00:32:50,764 --> 00:32:54,126
I'll be as gentle
as if I was holding your...
772
00:32:54,163 --> 00:32:56,974
Don't... say it.
773
00:32:58,096 --> 00:32:59,997
I'll see you tomorrow.
774
00:33:07,644 --> 00:33:09,936
I need this
expedited A.S.A.P.
775
00:33:10,013 --> 00:33:12,794
Tell Wiggins
it's for Trent Hazlit,
776
00:33:12,878 --> 00:33:15,622
and I want the 12-hour
turnaround for Poggio.
777
00:33:15,684 --> 00:33:18,310
Manufacturing license
and medallion?
778
00:33:18,641 --> 00:33:21,946
It's all...
Right in there.
779
00:33:27,933 --> 00:33:29,089
Hazlit?
780
00:33:29,122 --> 00:33:30,503
- Mm?
- Good news.
781
00:33:30,553 --> 00:33:31,974
I have a figure for you.
782
00:33:32,034 --> 00:33:34,442
- He was a bit hesitant at first, but I...
- Let me stop you.
783
00:33:34,553 --> 00:33:37,258
I have no interest in buying the
doll or Mr. Greipal's company.
784
00:33:37,342 --> 00:33:38,142
Why not?
785
00:33:38,173 --> 00:33:39,413
Only reason
I did the safety study
786
00:33:39,477 --> 00:33:40,977
was to get the toy's specs.
787
00:33:41,412 --> 00:33:42,237
What for?
788
00:33:42,268 --> 00:33:43,447
To release a knock-off
that'll undercut
789
00:33:43,490 --> 00:33:46,206
the Baby Feels-A-Lot's
price point by 40%.
790
00:33:46,406 --> 00:33:52,210
In fact, I plan to mention
Baby Happy Mad... nice, huh?...
791
00:33:52,258 --> 00:33:53,911
This afternoon
at my press conference
792
00:33:53,954 --> 00:33:55,701
for Chubby Snubby dog.
793
00:33:55,848 --> 00:33:57,885
So, thanks for the free buzz.
794
00:33:58,688 --> 00:34:00,432
Your knock-off
will never replace
795
00:34:00,463 --> 00:34:02,531
the real
Baby Feels-A-Lot.
796
00:34:02,712 --> 00:34:04,249
Listen, darling...
797
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:08,495
I got three floors of
highly paid fungineers
798
00:34:08,530 --> 00:34:11,521
who are already amping up the
happiness factor on that doll
799
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:13,318
like you would not believe.
800
00:34:14,495 --> 00:34:17,017
Mr. Greipal might make toys
with love on the inside,
801
00:34:17,048 --> 00:34:19,456
but mine are made
with petroleum-based plastics
802
00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:20,727
and the blood, sweat, and tears
803
00:34:20,761 --> 00:34:22,862
of third-world
11-year-olds.
804
00:34:22,997 --> 00:34:24,297
You can't beat it.
805
00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:28,020
So, come on, help me celebrate.
806
00:34:28,292 --> 00:34:29,188
You are a...
807
00:34:29,236 --> 00:34:33,042
The male version of you.
808
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:34,975
Come on.
809
00:34:35,013 --> 00:34:38,307
Who doesn't dream
of dating themselves, right?
810
00:34:52,322 --> 00:34:56,093
"Chubby Snubby is the future
of our company."
811
00:34:56,146 --> 00:34:58,715
"Chubby Snubby is the future
of our company."
812
00:34:58,752 --> 00:35:00,553
Can you feel the energy
out there, sir?
813
00:35:00,567 --> 00:35:02,167
- This is gonna be big.
- "The energy out there."
814
00:35:02,198 --> 00:35:03,864
It's not about the energy
out there.
815
00:35:03,911 --> 00:35:05,224
It's about the energy in here.
816
00:35:05,250 --> 00:35:07,069
This is about Trent Hazlit.
817
00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:08,418
Oh, right, right.
818
00:35:08,633 --> 00:35:10,902
So, go out there and give them
a big, old bag of Trent.
819
00:35:11,925 --> 00:35:13,359
Shut up.
820
00:35:13,449 --> 00:35:15,492
There he is.
Mr. Hazlit! Mr. Hazlit!
821
00:35:15,533 --> 00:35:18,499
I'll take questions
after the launch celebration.
822
00:35:18,530 --> 00:35:22,316
So, you're treating this Chubby Snubby
toy dog recall as a celebration?
823
00:35:22,411 --> 00:35:23,605
Recall? What are
you talking about?
824
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:25,455
Well, surely there will be
a recall after the government
825
00:35:25,474 --> 00:35:27,549
released the failed safety study
this morning.
826
00:35:27,718 --> 00:35:29,186
Government?
827
00:35:30,176 --> 00:35:31,639
I never submitted any study
to the government.
828
00:35:31,988 --> 00:35:34,392
I need this
expedited A.S.A.P.
829
00:35:34,484 --> 00:35:37,208
Tell Wiggins
it's for Trent Hazlit,
830
00:35:37,329 --> 00:35:40,279
and I want the 12-hour
turnaround for Poggio.
831
00:35:40,344 --> 00:35:42,907
Manufacturing license
and medallion?
832
00:35:43,350 --> 00:35:47,149
It's all...
right in there.
833
00:35:51,264 --> 00:35:53,393
Want to know who regulates
toy safety in this country?
834
00:35:53,436 --> 00:35:54,702
The toy companies.
835
00:35:54,728 --> 00:35:55,862
What about government?
836
00:35:56,758 --> 00:35:58,533
Consumer Product
Safety Commission.
837
00:35:58,557 --> 00:35:59,364
They try.
838
00:35:59,384 --> 00:36:00,984
They're a solid
government agency,
839
00:36:01,022 --> 00:36:03,069
but safety studies
are voluntary,
840
00:36:03,112 --> 00:36:05,382
so certain companies
just won't take that risk
841
00:36:05,409 --> 00:36:07,089
because if a toy
is found hazardous,
842
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,688
they have to make it public.
843
00:36:10,010 --> 00:36:11,219
- Can I he you?
- Hi.
844
00:36:11,251 --> 00:36:12,452
I need an expedited,
845
00:36:12,486 --> 00:36:14,088
overnight government
safety inspection of this.
846
00:36:14,122 --> 00:36:14,714
Mm-hmm.
847
00:36:14,739 --> 00:36:16,723
Relevant forms, my signature.
848
00:36:16,783 --> 00:36:19,539
And make sure to run it
through your strictest,
849
00:36:19,564 --> 00:36:21,434
most rigorous tests.
850
00:36:21,469 --> 00:36:22,569
Okay.
851
00:36:32,716 --> 00:36:33,716
Everything okay, Carl?
852
00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:35,153
Your call sounded like
something was wrong.
853
00:36:35,188 --> 00:36:38,095
No, actually, a fan of mine
sent me this safety study,
854
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,889
and I find it very alarming.
855
00:36:40,060 --> 00:36:41,547
I think that we should
get this out there,
856
00:36:41,578 --> 00:36:42,977
and we should let
the parents know about it.
857
00:36:43,002 --> 00:36:45,221
Is there any way that you could,
uh, maybe help me with that?
858
00:36:45,438 --> 00:36:47,107
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
859
00:36:47,546 --> 00:36:49,702
Okay. We are
so all over this.
860
00:36:49,739 --> 00:36:51,588
Okay.
Thank you so much.
861
00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:52,701
Mm.
862
00:36:55,208 --> 00:36:56,220
What the hell's going on here?
863
00:36:56,251 --> 00:36:57,781
Do you care to comment
on the recall, sir?
864
00:36:57,812 --> 00:36:59,449
No, I don't care to comment.
865
00:36:59,555 --> 00:37:02,103
I have no idea
what happened here.
866
00:37:03,751 --> 00:37:06,889
I am gonna sue your ass,
Hazlit!
867
00:37:08,635 --> 00:37:10,517
Who did this to me?
868
00:37:29,215 --> 00:37:31,098
I can't believe you did it.
869
00:37:31,164 --> 00:37:34,066
I wish there were more people
like you out there.
870
00:37:34,102 --> 00:37:35,103
You did it,
Mr. Marris.
871
00:37:35,137 --> 00:37:36,205
Yeah.
872
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,907
Without you,
Hazlit would still be around.
873
00:37:37,937 --> 00:37:39,301
I was just doing my job.
874
00:37:39,344 --> 00:37:41,286
Well, speaking of jobs,
875
00:37:41,474 --> 00:37:44,345
the chief examiner's
looking for a new analyst.
876
00:37:44,559 --> 00:37:45,817
Chief examiner?
877
00:37:45,842 --> 00:37:47,744
For the Consumer Product
Safety Commission.
878
00:37:47,897 --> 00:37:49,693
When he found out
that he could hire the guy
879
00:37:49,727 --> 00:37:51,997
that took down Hazlit,
he jumped at it.
880
00:37:52,450 --> 00:37:54,369
I-I don't know what to say.
881
00:37:54,414 --> 00:37:56,214
I can't thank you enough.
882
00:37:56,323 --> 00:37:59,359
W... Merry Christmas.
883
00:38:00,868 --> 00:38:03,213
Merry Christmas.
884
00:38:04,593 --> 00:38:06,859
Promise me those things
will never hit store shelves.
885
00:38:06,885 --> 00:38:08,565
Nah, I'm keeping them
all to myself.
886
00:38:08,683 --> 00:38:10,129
I've got them lined up
in my warehouse
887
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,298
like an army of joy and rage.
888
00:38:12,473 --> 00:38:14,736
You don't ever want to be
in that warehouse alone.
889
00:38:14,778 --> 00:38:16,113
Ever.
890
00:38:16,235 --> 00:38:20,469
I think it's really sad that
we're so cynical about gifts.
891
00:38:21,140 --> 00:38:22,789
I used to
892
00:38:22,833 --> 00:38:24,695
I loved Christmas as a child.
893
00:38:24,726 --> 00:38:26,258
Yeah, well,
nothing's genuine anymore.
894
00:38:26,284 --> 00:38:27,188
That's not true.
895
00:38:27,213 --> 00:38:28,579
No. I've been
thinking about this.
896
00:38:28,627 --> 00:38:31,124
And you know what is genuine?
897
00:38:31,583 --> 00:38:33,016
- Trust.
- Trust?
898
00:38:33,076 --> 00:38:34,108
Yes, trust.
899
00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:36,719
I think...
no, seriously.
900
00:38:36,750 --> 00:38:40,822
I think we should give each
other some trust for Christmas.
901
00:38:40,911 --> 00:38:42,249
What, like that willow exercise
902
00:38:42,286 --> 00:38:43,868
where you fall back
and someone catches you?
903
00:38:43,901 --> 00:38:44,980
No, not like that.
904
00:38:45,018 --> 00:38:47,024
Good, because I did that once,
and I dropped the person,
905
00:38:47,049 --> 00:38:48,243
and they had to get stitches.
906
00:38:48,334 --> 00:38:49,334
Still hurts.
907
00:38:49,694 --> 00:38:50,781
I know.
908
00:38:50,825 --> 00:38:52,396
I just think that, well,
909
00:38:52,427 --> 00:38:54,329
we've been through
so much together, all of us,
910
00:38:54,364 --> 00:38:56,806
and we should give each other
something really personal this year,
911
00:38:56,824 --> 00:39:01,780
like, um, I don't know,
a story or a secret.
912
00:39:01,807 --> 00:39:02,841
No, come on.
913
00:39:02,868 --> 00:39:03,835
Bear with me, please.
914
00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:05,122
Please.
915
00:39:05,876 --> 00:39:07,478
Who's gonna go first?
916
00:39:09,175 --> 00:39:10,642
Eliot.
917
00:39:10,919 --> 00:39:12,557
All right.
918
00:39:13,385 --> 00:39:18,923
When I was a kid, I wanted
a trumpet one Christmas.
919
00:39:21,695 --> 00:39:24,329
My father played Sinatra
all the time,
920
00:39:24,556 --> 00:39:27,725
and Sinatra had this trumpet
player named "Sweets" Edison...
921
00:39:27,769 --> 00:39:29,270
Harry "Sweets" Edison.
922
00:39:29,368 --> 00:39:31,134
Great sound...
amazing.
923
00:39:31,649 --> 00:39:33,905
I wanted to sound
just like him, you know?
924
00:39:34,035 --> 00:39:36,870
Christmas rolled around, and,
uh, there was no trumpet...
925
00:39:36,973 --> 00:39:39,277
Just a pack of,
uh, baseball cards.
926
00:39:39,308 --> 00:39:41,139
Well, my father said that Santa
927
00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:43,110
must have had
a rough year at the track.
928
00:39:43,191 --> 00:39:44,158
So, there's...
929
00:39:45,529 --> 00:39:46,748
Anyway, a couple of days later,
930
00:39:46,772 --> 00:39:49,841
I wake up in my bed,
and at the foot of the bed is...
931
00:39:50,251 --> 00:39:51,384
Is a trumpet.
932
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,962
I mean, it's all tarnished
and dinged up...
933
00:39:54,010 --> 00:39:59,465
My dad probably rolled somebody
for it, but there it is.
934
00:40:00,698 --> 00:40:06,536
And I, uh, I played that trumpet
every day for 10 years.
935
00:40:07,251 --> 00:40:08,303
You know, I never...
936
00:40:08,332 --> 00:40:12,536
I never, uh, ended up sounding
like "Sweets" Edison,
937
00:40:12,589 --> 00:40:14,036
but...
938
00:40:16,272 --> 00:40:20,360
So, I gave it to, um,
I gave it to Sam...
939
00:40:21,601 --> 00:40:24,093
On his 8th birthday.
940
00:40:27,260 --> 00:40:29,607
And that was, um...
941
00:40:33,085 --> 00:40:37,514
His, um, first trumpet lesson
was scheduled for the day,
942
00:40:37,552 --> 00:40:40,531
as it turns out, that he
went into the hospital.
943
00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:44,173
And I... so, he...
944
00:40:50,788 --> 00:40:53,055
I don't have anything left...
945
00:40:54,376 --> 00:40:57,355
from my childhood,
but I did keep the trumpet.
946
00:40:57,386 --> 00:40:59,585
I keep it on the boat.
947
00:41:09,743 --> 00:41:11,443
Okay, who's next?
948
00:41:19,057 --> 00:41:22,635
==sync, correction by